My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
