Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
