P.S. I can't hear my feet
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
