I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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