WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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