You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize