I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Who died my cat blue again?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
