Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
