pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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