going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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