so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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