She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
