Define "chronic" masturbator.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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