a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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