check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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