Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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