i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
