ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
