You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
