i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
