I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
farters have to be the big spoon...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
