3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
