she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
