people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
