So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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