we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
