you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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