you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
