The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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