She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
