I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
