actually, I'm a sock model
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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