i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
