Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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