It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
