I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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