I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize