i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
