I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
