i don't plan on having that self control this summer
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
