there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
