If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
