so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
