I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
