I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
