im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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