Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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