Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
