Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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