If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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