He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
