I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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