My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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