I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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