he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
