So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize