I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
