Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
